20/20 Foresight?

I don't like the person that I am right now. I have been mopy and lethargic. The end of rugby season just sucked all of the energy out of me. I try to go to the gym but I only want to nap. I spend most of my time in my room. I want some big change to happen but I don't know how to help that along. I know I'm tired still from going out last night but I took a nap before I went out and was in bed at 2:30. I don't know what to do. I want to go home this weekend because it seems like that's the only place that I can get a decent night's sleep. I also have been there to pick out the Christmas tree every year. I don't want to miss that. Last weekend was spent sleeping mostly and reading for my term paper. I needed that. I don't know what I should do. Meighan says that she is feeling really lonely at CMU also. It seems like I spend so much time doing stuff that's insignificant and that I won't remember when I reminisce about college. I know I'll think about rugby and being in Vagina Monologues and band. I want to think about doing really stupid stuff too. That's part of why last night was a lot of fun. I was the only completely sober one but it was just hanging out and talking. I felt like I belonged in a group. I suppose I would have rather not been the only sober one but it's fun to talk to drunk people. I want more of those kind of memories in my life.